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There is this gang in Peru that is killing farmers so that they can use their body to sell to cosmetic manufacturers. What they do is cut off the head, the limbs, take out the organs. Suspend the torso and place candles beneath so that the fat melts into some tubes. Well if you didn’t know before, human body fat is awesome as an anti-wrinkle cream.

So keep your fat ass out of Peru guys.
(seriously they should just come to the states, we are giving away our fat!)

I never have anything pleasant to talk about these days.

Well I’m off…Whoosh!